A Letter To Baron Trump From Sasha Obama

Dearest Barron,

I was told I needed to congratulate you on your family’s success.  Congratulations, your father has defeated the 2nd best Clinton to ever run for office.  I hope you enjoy this room as much as myself and hillary did.  Yep it’s true Hillary and Bill lived in separate rooms and poor Hillary could most likely hear everything going on in the next room.  The walls in this house are thin, but not as thin as your father’s hairline.  So here are some tips and advice I think will help you live in the white house –


  1. Sneaking boys in is very difficult, there are secret service members everywhere and your dad gets an intelligence report every morning.
  2. The creaking of the house is nothing to worry about.  It’s just an old house settling into the haunted remains of the old white house burnt to the ground by the British in 1814.
  3. The Air Force One helipad is not for toy drones, secret service will blast it out of the sky.
  4. First Kid https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/First_Kid is an extremely accurate representation of the life in the White House and should be studied throughly –
  5. Beware of the old creepy guy named joe.  He always smells my hair and whispers sadly “you smell like Beau did”, and then just walks away. Here is a pic of him so you know who to keep an eye out for.  

Anyway, good luck!  If you need to get ahold of me, try snapchat or the Obama search light in the attic.  


Ciao for now

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